Choreography: Me!
Dancers (left to right): Elodie Dufroux, Sarina Gonzalez, Brianna Mercado, Cleo Sykes, Kaori Akazawa
Song: Do You Remember by Jarryd James
Filmed & Edited by Kyle Breen

“Flowers teach us that nothing is permanent: not their beauty, not even the fact that they will inevitably wilt, because they will still give new seeds.
Remember this when you feel joy, pain, or sadness.
Everything passes, grows old, dies, and is reborn.”

―Paulo Coelho

Last week, I spent all my travel time non the subway and buses listening to Kris Carr’s Healing Cancer Summit. At first, I was like- ehhhh this stuff is lame sauce. I know what I am doing… But I was surprised at the resources and information I discovered. It was so refreshing listening to people that just GET IT. I was in awe of Kris’s interview skills and her ability to connect to all of the special guests. Listening to all the lectures also reaffirmed that I am on the right path in this healing “Get To Zero” journey…

This morning on my way to teach in Jersey, I listed to the interview with Kelly Turner, Ph.D, founder of The Radical Remission Project, who did a bunch of crazy research to find out what the common ways are to achieve what she calls Radical Remission. To my surprise, only 2 are physical. After listening to her speak, I know I have a lot more soul searching to do. I am also so intrigued by the power of the mind.

Here’s her list of 9:

1. Radically changing your diet

2. Taking control of your health

3. Following your intuition

4. Using herbs and supplements

5. Releasing suppressed emotions

6. Increasing positive emotions

7. Embracing social support

8. Deepening your spiritual connection

9. Having strong reasons for living

I am discovering that every day has it’s Whoopsies and Hoorays. I am really getting that health and wellness is a mix between a full time job and never-ending practice. I am letting that inspire me now instead of stress me out. (A few weeks ago, I was in the head space of making this healing journey like a game with a point system, and THAT only made me feel like a big loser… haha. Really difficult to stay positive in that mindset!)

I am excited about this transformation in myself. I look back at who I was 4 months ago, and where I am now, and I am so proud. I have healthier habits, I am thinking less and doing more, asking for help, saying No to things, putting my health first…

Let the journey to heal myself carry on!

What a D R E A M it was to work on this music video. I pride myself in being a very optimistic person, but even during rehearsals and everything, I was convinced that this wasn’t going to work out, or that all the dancing was going to be cut last minute…. but alas! It ACTUALLY happened. And to top it all off, my hair style made me the featured unicorn woman for the whole day we filmed! hahaha

Jon had introduced me to Coheed years ago, and I started listening to their music. Since working with Jon, we have worked on countless project and dance pieces to their music… with the DREAM of someday being able to be involved in a music video or a show with Coheed.

Then BOOM. This happened.
We asked the Universe for it, then we worked our butts off, and then it happened.

I am learning that hard work ( in this highly superficial & unreasonable dance world ) generally won’t get you your dream job because of dumb reasons you can’t control, but it will get you pretty darn close to something JUST as awesome. This was NOT one of those gigs. Instead, this was one of those once in a lifetimes miracles where we put the work in for a gig so specific, and it actually pays off and comes back to you. And for that, I am so in awe and THANKFUL for this experience. So rare. So unique. I am so lucky.

To Jon- you are the GRIT and FORCE that made it happen... Thank you.

This video is a HUGE victory for The Grit… and for all of those who push their limits late nights and ealy mornings to chase their dreams.

Here’s to making what seems unbelievable achievable.

Coheed and Cambria's official video for their track 'Old Flames' off of their new album The Unheavenly Creatures.

Photography by Emily Dubin

I am currently reaching the end of a 24 hour fast. Meaning... I have consumed only water for the past 22 hours... 2 hours left! And I am feeling the urge to go into my kitchen and munch on some macadamia nuts, so I decided to sit here and write instead. I want to be honest with what is going on in my head, how I am feeling, and why I am doing this.
 
So... to start off, what is intermittent fasting?
It's a diet cycling between regular periods of eating and fasting, that have been proven to be effective in the treatment of cancer and other diseases. There a bunch of different ways you can fast depending on what you want to accomplish. My new fasting goals include incorporating the 16/8 Method (fasting every day for 16 hours, and restricting my daily "eating window" to 8 hours), and incorporating one 24 hour fast once a week. 

I know you are thinking... 

WHAT?! YOU HAVE TO EAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? THAT ISN'T HEALTHY! YOU ARE TOO ACTIVE! ARE YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?! 

(These were all of the thoughts that ran though my head when I was first introduced to the idea of fasting.) 

Don't freak out. I got this under control. I am fasting to starve my cancer. Fasting is an easy way to decrease glucose levels in my body and elevate ketone levels as fuel for my body. 

Less glucose = less fuel for my cancer to grow and spread and do bad things. 

Right now, as I approach the end this fast, I have these devilish thoughts pop up in my head. I am thinking to myself: 

• Eating just one little olive won't hurt... right? 
• I'm alone right now in my apt- no one will know if I just break my fast early! 
• I did good enough today... I can just try again next week...  

Even just typing these thoughts up, I am feeling the urge more than ever to go grab food. It's true that whatever you give your attention & energy to grows--  and giving energy to these little thoughts right now certainly made them stronger. 

I am still practicing with how to move past these thoughts and remain strong- honoring my word to the 24 hours I intended. I try to give energy to my breath, stillness, and silence. But it's difficult. Sometimes, I play a game called "No, Thank You," where I just hold food or pictures of food in front of my face and say, "No, thank you." It's definitely not the most fun game, but it worked getting me off of all processed & sugar/carbohydrate heavy foods!  

What gives me the most strength at moments like this, when I feel hungry or I want to eat, I think about the cancer cells in my body. They want to eat, and they are loud and angry with their demand for sugar or carbs. It empowers me to know that I know their weakness. I have the ability to starve them - to NOT give them what they want. 

This video by Dr. Thomas Seyfried states it best. The ketogenic diet along with intermittent fasting has been proven as a method to reduce the spread and growth of cancer cells.  

I also recently read this article by the brilliant Dr. Jason Fung. There is SO MUCH good stuff in here about diet and cancer and all the things we are doing wrong in our society. (You should also read his book The Complete Guide To Fasting.) For now I'll leave it with this: 

"To truly defeat your enemy, you must know them."

I know my cancer was never meant to be aggressive. I know it was the harsh treatments for cancer #1 that made this cancer #2 come about and become so aggressive. I know my mind and body is strong enough to handle the transformation and healing that it needs to achieve.

I know I can do this. (I am gonna put energy into this thought instead.) 

------

Update: After 24 hours, my glucose and ketone levels were the best they've ever been! So proud of myself for honoring my word. Miraculously, I didn't feel hungry or tired by the end of it. For you keto geeks out there, here were my numbers: 
Glucose: 81 mg/dL
Ketones: 1.7 mmol/L
GKI: 2.6